MrsMurray said:
I've looked on the forums but can only find bits and pieces of info pertaining to my questions, and most is dated a few years back. So I am hoping I can find a few answers here.
My husband is currently at BMQ. He started in October of last year, but had to do a couple extra months in warrior, which extended his time that he now has to be away. During that time, I developed some serious medical problems. He almost came home, but I told him to stay because I didn't want him to lose this amazing opportunity that he has worked so hard to get. He's finally back on platoon now and will be graduating April 10th (as long as everything for him goes all right, knock on wood!). But unfortunately my medical issues have become worse. His trade is ACISS, and he's been trying to get information on what's next after BMQ. He's found different things, and so far at this time he believes he will be going to either Kingston or Aldershot. He'd prefer Aldershot because then he's only about an hour away from where we live, but we'd much rather be able to live under the same roof so that he can provide the assistance I need.
My big question, is if I will be able to move with him after he finishes BMQ, or how long will we have to wait before we are able to live together again. Currently I live on my own with no family help, which has become difficult what with my medical problems. I try not to stress him out whenever he is able to call, because I know he needs to focus on his training and worrying about me won't help, but he knows I'm lying when I say "Everything's fine, tests came back fine and doctors say I'm doing great." I don't want to be the cause of his worry and stress. Will he be able to put a special request considering the circumstances, to have me moved up? Or will we have to remain apart for another year or so until he's completely done training?
I know this is the life I've accepted, and that during his career we will have many long periods of separation, but the unforeseen addition of my medical issues does make things more difficult. Any information would be greatly appreciated.
I'll echo the "Short answer - NO" sentiment, but I'll add a longer explanation, and a couple of options, having had something along the same lines as both your situation and the Original poster's question.
It took me around 9 months to complete BMQ. Between being out of shape when I got there (I'm not proud of it, but it is what it is and I'm trying), condemned to WFT for what seemed like eternity, injured on my second platoon only to end up in WFT again, and finally graduating at the 9 month mark. My first son was born the 2nd week into BMQ. Math is fun here...
After BMQ, I was sent to CFNES in Halifax for my QL3 course. It took a little under a year for this course to be completed, what with 2 semesters academics and one semester of applications (hands-on the gear), it ended up being in the ball park of 10 months or so, leave blocks included.
During the time on my 3s, I put in a memo to have my posting status changed from "PROHIBITED" (meaning I couldn't move my family) to "RESTRICTED" (which meant the CF could assist me with a cost move, but I wouldn't be getting my cost move through Brookfield, where all the benefits are). I used the extra time away from my wife, and the fact that I hadn't seen my son for more than 30 days of his natural life since he was born. After discussions with my wife over the pros and cons of the Military's cost move vs. the Brookfield cost move, we decided that the benefits of the Brookfield move were better for us, and I got internet, and Skype home like every night. (My wife says it was kinda cute watching her 30-something husband do his homework on the computer while his toddler son was playing peekaboo with daddy on the monitor... I thought it was better than nothing)
Anyways, at the risk of dragging this out... A friend of mine, who was at BMQ with me, had somewhat of a similar scenario. However, he was unable to allow the conditions at which his family were living in back home to continue, and in order to ease his state of mind, and to ensure that his mind was on his studies and not worrying about the safety and welfare of his family, he was permitted to relocate his family. I believe there might have been a few stipulations to his agreement, but I am unaware as to what they are at the moment.
I know, benefit-wise, that we are told that when we come out of BMQ and on to our 3s, we are to live in barracks (although, in some cases guys/gals get apartments off-base), we are unable to acquire PMQs (and the wait is horrendous for some of them), and I don't think we are allowed to claim PLD unless we were already living in that area (IE: guy goes to BMQ, leaves family in Halifax, gets posted to CFNES on 3s course, and lives with family, etc...)
The rub of this novella, is that this is within the Navy trades. So me getting posted to CFNES in Halifax, and then getting posted to a ship in Halifax, it was a pretty safe bet that I'd be staying here. Now, if I had moved my family out here while on course, and they sent me to the west coast, I'd be up pooper creek without a paddle.
The best advice has pretty much been given on the subject here, and that is for your spouse to ask every question he/she can think of with regards to what he/she is entitled to, or what constitutes any compassionate moves. If there is a serious medical consideration, he can bring that up to his CoC, and they might be able to assist you. They're not always scary and intimidating as usually portrayed. In fact, every CoC I've had has gone out of their way to ensure that even if we are being "belt-fed" (well, you know), that at least they'll try to do what they can to make it less crappy.
Good luck.
Rev
