Wow over 200 days since the last post. Just goes to show how messed up my time perception is! Man thats near a year!
So I figured I'd drop a update of my situation. If for nothing else a little vent of whats been happening over the past 200 days.
I came to my new post with an ideal of focusing on getting my life back together, getting the help I needed. I figured I would not have the same deep set work ethic I did in my previous base as I would no longer be working for buddys who I always wanted to do the best job for. I would put off appts and sometimes outright cancel them for the "greater good" of any task we were completing at work. In the back of my mind I validated this as the last "push" before I could get posted away and seek help.
The move. It was horrible. No longer did I feel in control as I normally did. My wife did basically everything as my ability to cope with anything was gone. However my wife/guardian/godess made everything work; and managed to look after our children and me throughout the move. We got settled in and I began work at my new post.
The new job turned out to be horrible. Career cadet officers who were the most arrogant commissioned officers I've ever met. Their treatment of the B class Snr NCO's employed there was unreal. However these B class members expressed that if they bucked the way things were there they would be sent packing next contract. I attempted to make the best of it all dealing with PTSD and MDD getting treatment and working to improve the post as much as I could. Compliments were coming into my desk from outside the unit and the people who were out at the cadet units were very happy to see a change in attitude at the det.
I had the "privilage" of working directly for a person with the largest chip on their shoulder I have ever met. A person whop was there for the ego of wearing a uniform of the CF; and not for the program. I ignored as much as I could over the following months getting yelled at in front of peers and subordinates etc. I would puke before each day at work, come home too exausted to even eat supper or get off the couch in my uniform.
Finally after 2 months of being in the position I called the CDU to see if they had set up my shrinks and everything which I had told them would need to be done during a meeting with one of their DR's. I came to find out nothing had been set up. While I was home suffering hurting and running out of medication...nothing had been done. Apparently the official story was I didn't clear out of warrior support at my last base. I checked my scanned clearance sheets and verified that I was not 100% insane and that I did. I don't like people who lie. Just tell me the paperwork got lost and someone messed up. It gave me a poor outlook on just how my treatment would be here at this new post.
I was coming home angry and upset beyond the norm of the injury. Finally I got into see a shrink and a pill dr. Both great people who are trying their best.
I have a hard time going outside in the city. My ability to shop is nil, do banking, or anything that just isnt 100% necessity and sometimes then its impossible (I had berries for supper cause I dont want to go to the store and my family is away)
Pills have been switched up and changed more than my son changes his clothing during the day (thats a lot). Some work somewhat for a bit however its been 2 years now and things have not changed for the better.
Finally at work I had a disagreement with my boss. Basically he changed his plan yet again for the worse and destroyed months of work I had been working on. There was no reasoning behind it just the inability to make and stand by decisions. I've caught this man lying etc and I finally told him " you guys cant make a plan to save your life's" He said 'come with me" I replied that I wouldnt and if he had something to say say it in front of my peer. He was staring me down and then began to say get out in the lunch room. Nope I replied...you can charge me but I aint going no where. Every time I attempted to leave the area he came back standing in my doorway angry telling me to get down to the lunch room. I had told him before that during time of personal conflict I may need to desc elate and step out. Finally he left for long enough to allow me to step outside and cool off. My ears were ringing I began to puke. I went to my car and proceeded to have one of the largest panic attacks I've had to date. An hour or so later I went back inside to clear anything up. I was still shaking and not doing well. I was exhausted. He then invited me over to his house for fireworks later that week with my kids. I figured it was a done deal. A disagreement between adults and that would be that.
Next morning I get asked my one of the WO to go outside for a bit to smoke. A normal occurring activity around 10h00 really. We talked about everything as we normally do, weather etc. Suddenly out of no where I get told "you best fall on your own sword, the Maj wants to see you at 10h10"..4 minutes away.
I