Definately a well known song at engineering schools across North America
UBC Version as follows (chorus between each one of course)
Godiva was a lady who through Coventry did ride,
To show to all the villagers her lovely bare white hide.
The most observant man on Earth, an Engineer, of course,
Was the only one to notice that Godiva rode a horse.
Said she, "I've come a long, long way; the man will go as far
Who takes me off this goddamn horse and leads me to a bar."
The man who took her off her horse and stood her to a beer,
Was a bleary eyed surveyor and a hell of an Engineer.
My father was a miner from the Upper Malamute;
My mother was a hostess in a house of ill repute.
They kicked me out of the age of five to tend to my own beer,
So I said to hell with them, and I joined the Engineers!
An Artsman and an Engineer once found a gallon can.
Said the Artsman "Match me drink for drink; let's see if you're a man!"
They drank three drinks, the Artsman died, his face was turning green.
The Engineer drank on and said, "It's only gasoline!"
On reading Kama Sutra, he tried position nine.
For proving masculinity, it truly was divine.
But then one day, the girl rebelled and threw him on his rear,
For he was a feeble artsie and she was an Engineer.
My mother peddles opium, my father's on the dole,
My sister used to walk the streets but now she's on parole.
My brother runs a restaurant with bedrooms in the rear,
But they won't even speak to me 'cause I'm an Engineer.
Godiva was a lady well endowed there was no doubt,
She never wore a stitch of clothing, just wound her hair about.
The first man ever made her was an Engineer of course,
But on just one beer an Artsie (edited, rhymes with "beer" though
) once made Godiva's horse.
Venus is a statue made entirely of stone.
There's not a fig leaf on her, she's as naked as a bone.
On noticing her arms were gone, an Engineer discoursed:
"The damn thing's busted concrete, and it should be reinforced!"
I happened once upon a girl whose eyes were full of fire;
Her physical endowments would have made your hands perspire.
To my sruprise she told me that she never had been kissed;
Her boyfriend was a tired Engineering Physicist.
Sir Francis Drake and all his men set out for Calais Bay,
They'd heard the Spanish Rum fleet was headed out that way.
But the Engineers had beat them, by a night and half a day,
And though they were so far away, you still could hear them say...
Caesar went to Egypt at the age of fifty-three,
But Cleopatra's blood was red; her heart was young and free.
And every night when Caesar said good-night at one o'clock,
A Roman Engineer was waiting just around the block.
A maiden and an Engineer were sitting in a park;
The Engineer was busy doing research in the dark.
His scientific method was a marvel to observe;
While his right hand wrote the figures down, his left had traced the curves.
The army and the navy men were out to have some fun,
Looking for a tavern where the fiery liquors run.
All they found were empties, for the Engineers had come,
And traded all their instruments for gallon jugs of rum.
An Engineer once came to class, so drunk and very late,
And carrying a load that you'd expect to ship by freight.
The only thing that held him up and kept him to his course,
Was the boundary condition and the electromotive force.
Now you've heard our story and you know we're Engineers,
And like all jolly good fellows, we drink our whiskeys clear.
We drink to every fellow who comes from far or near,
'Cause we're a hell-of-a, hell-of-a, hell-of-a, hell-of-a, hell-of-an Engineer!
sdimock said:
do it from memory, no looking it up
Just to keep things honest, I forgot two of the verses, so I went back to the "UBC Engineers Handbuk" for them and to get the exact punctuation to make it the "official" UBC version.
edit: removed line relating to original thread before this was moved.
