Married Service Couples [MSC]

[FreeFloat]

I'm currently a Army Reservist, and my fiancé is applying for the Regular Force to go Infantry.  He had initially been considering going Reserve first then doing a Component Transfer, but is so keen on the idea that he changed his application to Reg F.

Thing is, I had been contemplating going Reg F myself, but it's Navy trades that I picked.

I'm sitting on my application while I decide.  To me, staying with him is more important than getting in the Forces full time.  After all, I'm already a Reservist, so if he went Regs I could transfer units to wherever he's posted.

I know that these days, the Forces makes a decent effort to keep married service couples together whenever possible, but I can't think of any units/bases in Canada that can accommodate a Navy spouse and an Army (Infantry) spouse and still keep them together.  I don't know of any mixed-element couples although I can imagine it could happen if a) one spouse is a Reservist, or b) one spouse is a service support trade i.e. Cook, Clerk, regardless of element.  Hard Sea and pointy-end Land, I can't quite see happening.

Someone enlighten me please? if this in fact could work?

 

[Infanteer]

Considering Infantry billets are in Edmonton, Shiloh, Pet, Valcartier, and Gagetown and the Navy is in Esquimalt and Halifax, I'd say your SOL.

 

[FreeFloat]

That's more or less what I was thinking.............

Tough choice isn't it!

I was just speaking casually to my supervisor and he said he knew of one married service couple (MSC) where the "he" was an Inf Offr and "she" was a MARS, and they got posted to Valcartier I think, where "she" took on an RSS posting with a local reserve unit....... of course, they were Officers, things may indeed be different for us NCMs!

 

[28Medic]

Hi
I am a Reserve Army Med A(NCM), and my husband just went Reg Force Pilot...I am thinking of changing to an Airforce trade once we move just to make things easier on us when we start moving. I like the army way of things but it just might make it simpler and I won't have to travel as far to find an army reserve unit to parade with.
But I am un-decided on whether I should even stay in, since he will be away on trg a lot for the first while and it will be difficult to parade because of our three kids.  I am close to getting my CD, so I might try to tought it out...
Good luck with your decision....it won't be easy!

 

[Canadian Sig]

Makes me glad that me and my wife are in the same trade. 

 

[Scoobie Newbie]

It all dpends.  If you went such trades as clerk, cook, supply tech  etc then you could have a better chance of serving in the same trade.  I knew a navy cook that had never been to sea.

 

[shadow]

I know clerks of all elements can be posted just about anywhere.  You can be navy and get posted to Petawawa, it's been done.  The trade is pretty much the same no matter what element. People will just look at you funny when you're on parade 
You didn't mention which navy trades you were looking at?

 

[Harris]

The new RSS Officer at my Unit (West NSR) and his wife are both from different trades.  He's Infantry and she is Navy.  They live in Halifax and he travels to Aldershot every day to work.  So it can be done.

 

[Thompson_JM]

We've had a husband and wife team in our unit for a few years.. granted they are both Reg F CSS Types, one is a Clerk and the Other a Sup Tech. I've noticed it tends to be easier to move people when they are purple trades since they can go anywhere.

It sounds to me like youre probabbly going to have some trouble making that one work. But best of luck!

 

[bossi]

The majority of mixed MOC/environment marriages that I've run across usually involve one spouse in a svc sp MOC.  As stated previously, clerks/cooks/bin rats/etc. can be employed virtually anywhere. 

And, with regard to the comment about married officers, yes - it's true - officers can "look forward" to staff or HQ postings, where there's a little bit more leeway - however, having said that, any rank who's just starting their career shouldn't hold their breath for postings away from their primary environment (e.g. ship/Navy, field/Army, airfield/Air Force).

Best of luck!

 

[shokuten]

OK, I'm leaving in august for my basic at St-Jean, I'll be done in October and Probably be sent to my next training session when ever, but heres the thing..

My sister is getting married in March of 2006, and most likely I'll be doing something in the army (i hope) she wants me to attend, and i just want to know Can i get leave for something like that? How does the army work for situations like that?

thanks for any help and sorry for any bad grammar and spelling mistakes

 

[wotan]

I'm presuming you're joing the Reg F, so my response will based on that premise.

Your trg takes precedence over everything else, full stop.  That said, if you are between crses or are completed your trg by that pt in time, you MAY be granted lve.  This doesn't mean you WILL be granted lve, but it is something that your CO or OC can consider, just like for any other soldier.

If your sister resides in the same location as your next of kin (if you are single and don't have kids, your NOK is Mom and Dad), than you may be eligible for Lve Travel Assistance (LTA) that will offset some of the cost of travelling "home" as defined under CBI 209.50.

The long and short of it is, if you are in trg (Recruit or Trades), don't bank on getting lve.  If you are between crses or have reported in to your new unit after Trades Training, there is the possibility of being granted lve.  But, if you are in this for the long haul, get used to missing birthdays, anniversaries, weddings, deaths, and all sorts of family occasions. 

That said, best of luck on your courses and congratulations to your sister.  Cheers.

 

[shokuten]

thanks thats everything i was looking for

cheers!

 

[wotan]

You're very welcome.  Always better to ask than to be out there wondering.  Cheers.

 

[Wanting2Join]

My husband is currently a reservist, he served overseas and upon his return has put in for a component transfer to the Reg Force. I am in the process of joining the Reserves, but have considered joining the Regs. We have 4 children ranging in ages from 9 months to 14 years.
Are there any other families in this forum that have 2 parents that are in the Regs? Or any other Moms that are in the Regs? I'm wondering how to handle being in the military full time, with children. It is possible? What kind of support is available? Does the military assist with child care if you have to train on weekends, or do we find our own sitters? etc etc...
Thanks in advance.

 

[geo]

The CF does have and offers some family service resources BUT, this will depend on the area of the country where you are based.

Both in the Regs:
Depending on the trades you and your husband have, things can sometimes be dicey - instances where he will be posted to one base while you are posted to another..... not too bad when the two locations are within a day's drive of each other but, when you are at either end of the country.... not good.
One Reg, one Res:
A lot depends on the Reserve units that exist near where your husband gets posted... but you will have a bit more control on where you go and what you do & when you are available for work.

 

[exgunnertdo]

My husband and I both transferred from the Reserves to Reg a couple of years ago.  We have two kids who (at the time) were 2 and 4.  Some factors that made it easy/easier for us:

-we were granted BOTP/IAP bypass due to time and trg in the PRes
-we both changed classifications, but to jobs that are primarily OT, so our training courses were filled with people with time in, spouses (civi and mil), and children (there were only 2 people on my course without kids, and the rest of us had kids ranging from 2 weeks to 16 years old).  The climate was more "family friendly" than a course filled with 20 ish single guys
-with a combined experience of nearly 35 years in the PRes, we knew our way around the regulations and administration, making it significantly easier to navigate the CFRC processes, then the training system after that.

If your husband is combat arms, he will get (according to current policy, anyway) a direct transfer to the RegF, in the rank that he wore in Afghanistan.  If there are complications and he has to do some training (SQ, trades training etc) then you joining the RegF (or even the Res) will be that much more difficult.  Basic level stuff like SQ and basic combat arms trades courses are not family friendly, you would be expected to sort out your child care arrangements so that he could do his training.  If you are on a course at the same time, like BMQ, then you will need a very reliable grandparent or something to help.  If he gets to go straight to the Regt or Battalion, it will be easier.

The system tends to be fairly supportive of service couples, but does not bend over backwards to make your life easy.  You are still expected to be a responsible soldier, sailor or airperson and manage your personal life.  You are responsible for day-to-day child care, including weekends if you have to work.  But, if you're both RegF, there is a provision that if you are both sent away at the same time (to the field on ex, on a course, on TD or on deployment), they will pay the extra child care, over and above your regular child care.  You still have to make the arrangements, they won't deliver a bonded, insured, reference-checked babysitter to your door.  There is a program with the MFRC that will find you emergency child care, for the first few days, if, say hubby is away and you are called away on short notice.  With this program, you still have to pay for it, and you have to get your "emergency family care plan" going (fly a grandparent in or whatever) cause their support is only for a couple of days.

Most career managers are pretty good about keeping couples together, since keeping them apart is expensive.  But you have to be flexible.  For example, if your hubby is combat arms, and you insist to your career manager that you don't want to go to Shilo, Pet, Gagetown, etc.  You're asking for trouble.

Bottom line, if you are willing to work with the system, and not fight it every step of the way, it's a great life.  There are complications, but there are complications with every family choice you make.  Expect the first couple of years to be tough, while you get trained.  

Feel free to PM me if you want to ask more specifics, or just to chat about experiences.

 

[Wanting2Join]

Thank you for your input.

It's a hard decision to make. We have a large family and all my relatives live over 2000km away on the east coast. Finding committed babysitters is difficult and I never want to get into a situation where I'm unreliable due to child care issues. That's why I'm trying to get input from couples/moms that are currently in this situation before I make any decisions.

I'm currently going through the recruitment process to join the reserves, but may want to join the Regs in the future, if it's suitable.

Could you elaborate on this "emergency family care plan"? What is this exactly?

 

[exgunnertdo]

I think its official title is "Family Care Plan" or FCP.  It's a one page form on your file.  Everyone in the CF is supposed to fill it out.  I even did one as a Class A reservist.  You are to state that either you have nobody that you are responisble to care for (children or elderly parents, whatever) or you have people you care for and then you either state that you have arrangements but choose not to disclose the arrangements, or you state who your emergency caregivers are, where they live etc.  This form is then filed on your pers file.  It serves two purposes - it "forces" the member to think about the situation, by suggesting they put it in writing, and in the worst case scenario, the CoC can look at your FCP and call your emergency caregiver (whether it's a friend, neighbour, grandparent, other relative, etc) to look after your kids, if you can't.

In our case, our FCP has both of our mothers on it, and they would both drop everything and fly out to help if they were needed.  Committed extended family is essential, along with managing the risk.  I'm in a trade that doesn't deploy much (we do a bit, but we rely on volunteers, and there are enough people to volunteer), and hubby is in a trade that does deploy a fair bit, but unlikely to deploy on a moments notice.  He travels a fair bit with his current posting, I don't.  That could change next posting, who knows.

Hope this helps.

 

[Wanting2Join]

Thanks so much, I do have 1 other question. The cost of flying a relative out to care for children, is it covered by the parents (me)? I'm positive it is, but have to clarify.

thanks