Humour

[army]

Posted by "Joan O. Arc" <joan_o_arc@hotmail.com> on Thu, 15 Feb 2001 02:14:48 -0000
Phew! Quel relief!! I was starting to think everyone on the list had fallen
prey to Ebola, or something...
Given the *extremely* witty cries I received to my distress call, allow me
to make a "modest proposal" which may go absolutely nowhere, of course.
Given that: a the members of this list are obviously a funny, funny crowd
and,
b given that it‘s February every non-snowbird Canadian‘s cruelest
month... and the recent lack of postings suggests to me that maybe, just
maybe, the late-winter doldrums are starting to bite
how ‘bout a quick round-up of military humour?
I realize I‘m steering us all in a potentially rather hazardous direction,
but maybe if everyone follows the "post nothing you wouldn‘t want your
mother or sister to read" rule, no one will get hurt...
Whaddayall say?
- Joan
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[army]

Posted by "Gow" <jgow@home.com> on Wed, 14 Feb 2001 23:26:23 -0500
Okay, Joan
Go back to the early seventies and Jesus that seems a long time ago..
The Battalion‘s formed up on the square and Major G DCO marches out, under
the admiring eyes of the public to take the parade from the smooth and slick
RSM gather, you uninitiated, that we are not admirers of Major G...
The RSM salutes reports umpteen men on parade, so many sick, attached,
whatever, and says, as he salutes again "by the way, your fly is undone":
The next move is that the DCO shall turn about and face the dais.....with
all the crowd...or check himself in front of the assembled men...
To get to the point, his fly was NOT unbuttonned..but that‘s beside the
pioint, I think...
John
----- Original Message -----
From: "Joan O. Arc"
To:
Sent: Wednesday, February 14, 2001 9:14 PM
Subject: Humour
> Phew! Quel relief!! I was starting to think everyone on the list had
fallen
> prey to Ebola, or something...
>
> Given the *extremely* witty cries I received to my distress call, allow
me
> to make a "modest proposal" which may go absolutely nowhere, of course.
>
> Given that: a the members of this list are obviously a funny, funny
crowd
>
> and,
>
> b given that it‘s February every non-snowbird Canadian‘s cruelest
> month... and the recent lack of postings suggests to me that maybe, just
> maybe, the late-winter doldrums are starting to bite
>
> how ‘bout a quick round-up of military humour?
>
> I realize I‘m steering us all in a potentially rather hazardous direction,
> but maybe if everyone follows the "post nothing you wouldn‘t want your
> mother or sister to read" rule, no one will get hurt...
>
> Whaddayall say?
>
>
> - Joan
> _________________________________________________________________________
> Get Your Private, Free E-mail from MSN Hotmail at http://www.hotmail.com.
>
> --------------------------------------------------------
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> to majordomo@CdnArmy.ca from the account you wish to
> remove, with the line "unsubscribe army-list" in the
> message body.
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[army]

Posted by "Joan O. Arc" <joan_o_arc@hotmail.com> on Thu, 15 Feb 2001 05:58:37 -0000
Thanks John!
The rations stories were good for a chuckle, too.
Wish I could contribute, but I‘m afraid I‘d be reduced to raiding Reader‘s
Digest‘s "Humour in Uniform", and God forbid we should sink *that* low...
----Original Message Follows----
From: "Gow"
Reply-To: army-list@CdnArmy.ca
To:
Subject: Re: Humour
Date: Wed, 14 Feb 2001 23:26:23 -0500
Okay, Joan
Go back to the early seventies and Jesus that seems a long time ago..
The Battalion‘s formed up on the square and Major G DCO marches out, under
the admiring eyes of the public to take the parade from the smooth and slick
RSM gather, you uninitiated, that we are not admirers of Major G...
The RSM salutes reports umpteen men on parade, so many sick, attached,
whatever, and says, as he salutes again "by the way, your fly is undone":
The next move is that the DCO shall turn about and face the dais.....with
all the crowd...or check himself in front of the assembled men...
To get to the point, his fly was NOT unbuttonned..but that‘s beside the
pioint, I think...
John
----- Original Message -----
From: "Joan O. Arc"
To:
Sent: Wednesday, February 14, 2001 9:14 PM
Subject: Humour
> Phew! Quel relief!! I was starting to think everyone on the list had
fallen
> prey to Ebola, or something...
>
> Given the *extremely* witty cries I received to my distress call, allow
me
> to make a "modest proposal" which may go absolutely nowhere, of course.
>
> Given that: a the members of this list are obviously a funny, funny
crowd
>
> and,
>
> b given that it‘s February every non-snowbird Canadian‘s cruelest
> month... and the recent lack of postings suggests to me that maybe, just
> maybe, the late-winter doldrums are starting to bite
>
> how ‘bout a quick round-up of military humour?
>
> I realize I‘m steering us all in a potentially rather hazardous
direction,
> but maybe if everyone follows the "post nothing you wouldn‘t want your
> mother or sister to read" rule, no one will get hurt...
>
> Whaddayall say?
>
>
> - Joan
> _________________________________________________________________________
> Get Your Private, Free E-mail from MSN Hotmail at http://www.hotmail.com.
>
> --------------------------------------------------------
> NOTE: To remove yourself from this list, send a message
> to majordomo@CdnArmy.ca from the account you wish to
> remove, with the line "unsubscribe army-list" in the
> message body.
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[army]

Posted by "Bruce Williams" <Williabr@uregina.ca> on Thu, 15 Feb 2001 20:09:29 -0600
> The Battalion‘s formed up on the square and Major G DCO marches out,
under
> the admiring eyes of the public to take the parade from the smooth and
slick
> RSM gather, you uninitiated, that we are not admirers of Major G...
Would this be the same Major G who was later L/Col G and associated with the
silver bullet?
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[army]

Posted by "Bruce Williams" <Williabr@uregina.ca> on Thu, 15 Feb 2001 20:33:52 -0600
One of my favourite stories came from a friend who served in the Canadian
Airborne Regiment as an engineer.
They were on a winter exercise, having jumped in. They were tasked to do
some demolitions the next day and the C.O.decided to drop into their tent to
make sure they were ready. Seeing the pot steaming away on the stove, he
asked if he could have a hot drink. Having been told to help himself, he
opened the lid to find the pot full of C4 plastic explosive. It seems the
demolitions required shaped charges and the C4 had to be thawed to form
them. Apparently, the C.O. suddenly remembered that he was needed elsewhere!
There were no more visitors from RHQ that night.
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[army]

Posted by "Gow" <jgow@home.com> on Thu, 15 Feb 2001 21:43:26 -0500
The same one that ordered the 1500 meter charge in extended line in
Wainright 1970.
The same one that, when the Tpt Sgt near tearfully confessed that he could
not reconcile the jeep odometers to work tickets, was told by LCol G that he
let his kids drive them around the compound.
The same one who, when Capt Don Kreuger RSS, if you remember was trying to
grab something off the top of a truck said "I need someone tall and
stupid"...and on seeing the by then LCol G looked unto the Heavens and cried
"My prayers are answered!!!"
But naming no names, Bruce!
LOL!
John
----- Original Message -----
From: "Bruce Williams"
To:
Sent: Thursday, February 15, 2001 9:09 PM
Subject: Re: Humour
>
>
> > The Battalion‘s formed up on the square and Major G DCO marches out,
> under
> > the admiring eyes of the public to take the parade from the smooth and
> slick
> > RSM gather, you uninitiated, that we are not admirers of Major G...
>
> Would this be the same Major G who was later L/Col G and associated with
the
> silver bullet?
>
> --------------------------------------------------------
> NOTE: To remove yourself from this list, send a message
> to majordomo@CdnArmy.ca from the account you wish to
> remove, with the line "unsubscribe army-list" in the
> message body.
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[army]

Posted by "Bruce Williams" <Williabr@uregina.ca> on Thu, 15 Feb 2001 20:59:20 -0600
> The same one !!!"
>
> But naming no names, Bruce!
>
> LOL!
>
> John
Target identified!
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[army]

Posted by "F. A." <zzzzzzz@telusplanet.net> on Thu, 15 Feb 2001 20:03:17 -0700
--------------E8398C2A05D64C4C5DD7115B
I have to include a favourite...
A couple of years ago on Prairie Ram, the CO of 1PPCLI, a professional
and most thorough tactician was holding an o-group in mod for the next day‘s
battlegroup advance, with Griffons buzzing about and tracks clanking by he held
court with 2 dozen unit COs. In the midst of his getting comments from the other
combat arms types, the OC of the ADATs team piped up that his ADATs were ready
for the anti-armour role for the next day‘s major push to which the Patricia
LCol paused and stated like a 16 year old playing Quake2, "Cool!"
I guess you had to be there.
Francois
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[army]

Posted by "Donald Schepens" <a.schepens@home.com> on Thu, 15 Feb 2001 20:12:03 -0700
Bruce, I know that John started this, but YES!!!!
Don
----- Original Message -----
From: Bruce Williams
To:
Sent: Thursday, February 15, 2001 7:09 PM
Subject: Re: Humour
>
>
> > The Battalion‘s formed up on the square and Major G DCO marches out,
> under
> > the admiring eyes of the public to take the parade from the smooth and
> slick
> > RSM gather, you uninitiated, that we are not admirers of Major G...
>
> Would this be the same Major G who was later L/Col G and associated with
the
> silver bullet?
>
> --------------------------------------------------------
> NOTE: To remove yourself from this list, send a message
> to majordomo@CdnArmy.ca from the account you wish to
> remove, with the line "unsubscribe army-list" in the
> message body.
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[army]

Posted by "Bruce Williams" <Williabr@uregina.ca> on Thu, 15 Feb 2001 22:44:19 -0600
Since we are on a humour kick, you may want to try this!
http://buzz.ca/fun/chretien.html
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[army]

Posted by "Ian Edwards" <iedwards@home.com> on Thu, 15 Feb 2001 22:15:12 -0700
I didn‘t read all of the URL cited, but I thought that the first line of our
National Anthem read:
"Air Canada, we stand in line for thee..." :
----- Original Message -----
From: Bruce Williams
To:
Sent: Thursday, February 15, 2001 9:44 PM
Subject: Re: Humour
> Since we are on a humour kick, you may want to try this!
>
> http://buzz.ca/fun/chretien.html
>
> --------------------------------------------------------
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> remove, with the line "unsubscribe army-list" in the
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[army]

Posted by "Todd Harris" <harris@nortelnetworks.com> on Fri, 16 Feb 2001 09:03:33 -0500
This message is in MIME format. Since your mail reader does not understand
this format, some or all of this message may not be legible.
You may not believe this, but I was there and I have witnesses....
While on MILCON at Gagetown some years a go I was tasked as 2IC C Coy. My
OC was also from my Unit. We were ordered to do a relief in place of a
defensive area from the RNBR I think. Anyway we proceeded to conduct said
activity. Once everyone was in their trenches and ready to greet the En my
OC ordered me to have his Iltus brought up to the Command trench. After
much tactiful disagreeing on my part to this plan, We were on a forward
slope with no cover, I had the OC‘s Iltus brought up. He then proceeded to
remove the following items from the trailer:
1X Propane 2 burner stove
1X 20 Lb propane tank
1X Coffee perk
1X Canvas tarp to cover the trench
1X Guitar
1X Cooler with various foods including Beer
1X Lounging chair and last but not least
1X stuffed bear.
Needless to say I was speechless. Basically the OC camped out and I ran the
Coy with the FOO and CSM. The OC was a very strange man.
Todd Harris
RE: Humour
You may not believe this, but I was there and I have
witnesses....
While on MILCON at Gagetown some years a go I was
tasked as 2IC C Coy. My OC was also from my Unit. We were
ordered to do a relief in place of a defensive area from the RNBR I
think. Anyway we proceeded to conduct said activity. Once
everyone was in their trenches and ready to greet the En my OC ordered
me to have his Iltus brought up to the Command trench. After much
tactiful disagreeing on my part to this plan, We were on a forward
slope with no cover, I had the OC‘s Iltus brought up. He then
proceeded to remove the following items from the trailer:
1X Propane 2 burner stove
1X 20 Lb propane tank
1X Coffee perk
1X Canvas tarp to cover the trench
1X Guitar
1X Cooler with various foods including Beer
1X Lounging chair and last but not least
1X stuffed bear.
Needless to say I was speechless. Basically the
OC camped out and I ran the Coy with the FOO and CSM. The OC was
a very strange man.
Todd Harris
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