How do SINGLES cope on returning?

[762gunner]

    Lot of talk about families, how they're handling the separation, how the member handles it, how the member gets help from the family on returning to Canada...
    Very nice and interesting.
    But what do singles do?  What is there for singles besides going to the mess every night and drinking?  I don't care to talk to a Padre every bloody night, it's not going to change anything.  It's tough and depressing when most if not all of your buddies have their families and wives and girlfriends to go to.
    It just seems like sometimes if you're single, expecially over 30, you're on your own.  Sometimes the frustration level gets SO high...
    But maybe I should just shut the **** up and stop venting.

    Cheers. 

 

[Thompson_JM]

good question... and its not just the over 30's guys.  the younger folk like me still wonder... im lucky i have parents and a brother and freinds, but even still.... its not the same.... I guess the key is to hang with your close freinds, and buddies who have been there.. and i guess keep busy. the key is to try and find something that makes you happy and gets you outside of the house.... volunteering, and the like, is all i can think of... sorry i couldnt be more helpfull...

 

[aesop081]

Close friends, family and copius amounts of alcohol......

 

[Korus]

It sucks. It really does, especially if you had someone when you left...

My best advice, is don't bottle up the emotions you're feeling. Get them out and deal with them... If you bottle them up, they will come out eventually in a much worse way.

 

[xo31@711ret]

Sometimes if all you want to do is talk, the best you can do at times is to talk with your army buds over a few 'wobbly' pops; believe me from experience your old civvie friends won't have a clue as to what your talking about. Married or single,your army buds know our military life; I have close civvie friends whom I have grown up with for over 35 years, and God love each and every one of them, they just can't grasp our way of work (and play LOL). There are some things you can discuss with with your army friends you can never hope to get across to your civvie friends.

Hope this helps Dude; if not, and you have things you have to get off your chest, try the padre or one of the social workers on base; there is no shame in that!! As stated previously, don't bottle it all up! It will come out in the long run way wrong: balistically!

-gerry

 

[GAP]

It hasn't changed much. 30+ years ago I returned as a young single guy from FMF PAC, and promptly found I could not relate to my friends, and they to me,  and there were no other service guys around except the legion guys, who promptly told me I was a mercenary for going to the States and joining.

Tried the drinking and carousing routine, just ended up stopping drinking.

What did work for me was interesting work and going back to school in the evenings. Had a blast.

 

[GUNS]

This may not mean much coming from an old "cold war" soldier. Your first mistake is not talking to someone who is trained in such matters. It does not have to be a daily routine but being able to talk things out to someone who has no connection with A'stan will be helpfull.  Talking to fellow soldiers who have the same experience's and may have the same problems may not be the best option.

A lot of people are not comfortable with talking about what bothers them. They feel it makes them look weak or they are afraid that it may affect their employment. This happens very,very rarely. The longer the issues remain buried the bigger they grow until its to late to do anything.

Drinking should never be considered as a tool to solve your problems. I work with people with personal issues and everyone is different and the solution is never the same. If you have not tried it, I would not condemn it.

Whatever you decide to do or not do, try to stay on the happy side of life.