GF is harrasing me to ask this: How often can we contact family during BMQ?

[Seagris]

GF is harassing me to ask this: How often can we contact family? Do we have access to email?

 

[Obz]

mines bugging me as well but im looking at this as a vacation for a few months WOOT!

 

[Big T]

mines bugging me as well but im looking at this as a vacation for a few months WOOT!

haha, that a boy!! (jk)  ;D

I am also curious, so posting here will keep this topic in the "recent topics" section on the main page.

 

[2929]

Every course is different, on my BMQ/SQ I had no contact with my family for the first 2 weeks(much to busy). After that I spoke to them on the phone a couple times a week, we had phone access at any time we were not busy. On week four we were given access to internet and e-mail. Again we could use it when ever we had free time.

 

[Shadow Cat]

All depends on your work load and I guess how often you want to.  My DH called me every night except for when he was in the field.  Sometime the phone calls where just to say good night I love you as there wasn't much time to talk with all fo the chores that needed to get done.

 

[Kat Stevens]

You will be cloistered in a monastery, where all contact with the outer world is forbidden.  There you will be trained in the ways of the warrior monk.  You will endure extremes of deprivation, sleeping two hours a night, fed a diet of boiled rice and Brussels sprouts.  Upon graduation, you will be a finely tuned killing machine, with no need or desire for earthly pleasures, such as a girl "friend" can provide.  Welcome to The Brotherhood.

 

[paracowboy]

nightly phone calls, e-mail, no friggin' wonder the troops are weak.

 

[Jaxson]

You will be cloistered in a monastery, where all contact with the outer world is forbidden.   There you will be trained in the ways of the warrior monk.   You will endure extremes of deprivation, sleeping two hours a night, fed a diet of boiled rice and Brussels sprouts.   Upon graduation, you will be a finely tuned killing machine, with no need or desire for earthly pleasures, such as a girl "friend" can provide.   Welcome to The Brotherhood.

have you ever watched the shows on those warrior monks? man i saw one guy stand himself up on all 10 fingers, then someone grabbed his feet to give him balance and he went to just 2 fingers on each hand i thought that was pretty amazing. Yes that was off topic.

 

[Bograt]

nightly phone calls, e-mail, no friggin' wonder the troops are weak.

It was a simple question from someone who is about to start a new career. It takes a bit of courage to ask questions, especially on matters like this. Caring for family does not make one weak, in fact it may be the drive that propells him.

 

[paracowboy]

It was a simple question from someone who is about to start a new career. It takes a bit of courage to ask questions, especially on matters like this. Caring for family does not make one weak, in fact it may be the drive that propells him.

it's hardly a rant against the individual in question, or the troops tehmselves. It is a rant against the system that doesn't prepare those troops for the rigours thay will soon be facing. It is unfair to them, and they suffer that much more when they enter the real world of the Army.
Caring for family does not make one weak, but constant access to a potential source of demoralization is detrimental to them. I have seen, first-hand, the results of a bad phone call from Mary-Lou. I have seen Mommy tell Johnny to come home. And I have seen us lose potentially good troops because of it.
This constant watering down of Standards is bad. For everyone.

 

[Bograt]

I have also seen the distractions that home can generate while one is on an indoctrination course. However, these recruits have families and concerns outside of the Mega and it is wrong to pass judgement. Allowing calls home does not deteriorate recruiting standards. In the above example, what if the member's partner was expecting or they attempting to buy a house...? "Know your troops and look afer their welfare..."

Long since passed has the idea of "If the military wanted you to have a family, they would issue you one..."

And if the member is unable to deal with the vigors of basic and the stresses of home- its best that it is dealt with now.

Cheers,

 

[spud]

You can contact them as often as you like, if you have a way of contacting them. My wife is there now, she calls every couple of days if she can. She could call every night I guess but we would run out of things to talk about and I would prefer she concentrate on her work. It's all individual I guess, if the phone calls are whiney and "poor me" calls from either end why bother? If on the other hand they are to check up on family and offer/get encouragment then call away.

 

[Shadow Cat]

In our case, and I know that it is not like this in all cases, I was the person that kept my DH going.  If he had a really bad day and wanted to come home I was there telling him that he could do it and jsut to hang in there.  I even made a trip up to lift his spirits half way through.  I figured that it would be enough to get him through to the end and I was right.  He has been gone now for a little over six months and we are still looking at another 7 months to a little over two years of seperation.  If we didnt have the phone calls and the occasional rendez vous I think that he would have quite a while ago.

You also have to remember that sometimes like in our case you are taking someone that has never been away from loved ones and putting them into a totally different situation.  OUr case been together for 14 years two children and bam that all changes and it is quite an adjustment for the military member to go through.

Just my two cents and I again I agree that sometimes home can make a member leave, it happened to a few guys there with my Dh but not always.  I am a firm supporter of my DH succeeding and will do what it takes to make sure that that happens. 

 

[paracowboy]

However, these recruits have families and concerns outside of the Mega and it is wrong to pass judgement.

bollocks. It is my job when instructing on these courses to pass judgement. That is what we do. We judge if this person has passed, we judge if this person has what it takes to be a soldier.

Allowing calls home does not deteriorate recruiting standards.

no. Allowing too much free time for troops to make too frequent calls home deteriorates standards. Allowing recruits too much access to the outsid world with it's many distractions deteriorates standards.

In the above example, what if the member's partner was expecting or they attempting to buy a house...?

there are offical channels to take care of that sort of thing.

"Know your troops and look afer their welfare..."

PROMOTE their welfare. And you do that by ensuring they receive the training they will need to survive in combat.

Long since passed has the idea of "If the military wanted you to have a family, they would issue you one..."

long since also, has passed the concept of training soldiers to meet a difficult standard in order to ensure they will meet all challenges thrown at them.

And if the member is unable to deal with the vigors of basic and the stresses of home- its best that it is dealt with now.

I care more for the rigors of Army life, and the rigors of warfare. If he can't be prepared to deal with that properly, he ain't gonna have much home-life. Dead men usually don't.

Shadow Cat, good on ya! You'll make a fine army wife. 

 

[Da_man]

You will be cloistered in a monastery, where all contact with the outer world is forbidden.   There you will be trained in the ways of the warrior monk.   You will endure extremes of deprivation, sleeping two hours a night, fed a diet of boiled rice and Brussels sprouts.   Upon graduation, you will be a finely tuned killing machine, with no need or desire for earthly pleasures, such as a girl "friend" can provide.   Welcome to The Brotherhood.

damn you just made my day kat  ;D

 

[Shadow Cat]

Shadow Cat, good on ya! You'll make a fine army wife.  

Thank you and becuase my Dh shows me that he cares that is what makes him a great husband.   

 

[Bograt]

bollocks. It is my job when instructing on these courses to pass judgement. That is what we do. We judge if this person has passed, we judge if this person has what it takes to be a soldier.
no. Allowing too much free time for troops to make too frequent calls home deteriorates standards. Allowing recruits too much access to the outsid world with it's many distractions deteriorates standards.
there are offical channels to take care of that sort of thing.
PROMOTE their welfare. And you do that by ensuring they receive the training they will need to survive in combat.
long since also, has passed the concept of training soldiers to meet a difficult standard in order to ensure they will meet all challenges thrown at them.
I care more for the rigors of Army life, and the rigors of warfare. If he can't be prepared to deal with that properly, he ain't gonna have much home-life. Dead men usually don't.

Am I to understand that it is your position that if a recruit calls home, it somehow degrades his future combat performance? Are we talking about the same course... the BMQ at St. Jean...?

The original question was whether the member would be able to call home? Yes he can.

I would humbly suggest that if you have a concern about a course you instructed, instead of posting negative statements publically, go through your chain of command and try and address them there. As you know BMQ is a basic course for NCMs of all trades. It is an indoctrination course, not a battle school.

If you take exception to something I have said, feel free to PM me, and we can attempt to deal with it behind closed doors.

In short, you are able to call home. You will be expected to continue to perform all your responsibilities to standard regardless of what is happening at home.

 

[George Wallace]

I think we have two extremes being argued here.  One for total freedom to call home at any time and another tired of people calling home every waking moment that they are not on Crse.  I, too, have to side with Paracowboy when it comes to the abuse some take of this liberty.  I have seen members of the CF, spend thousands of minutes on Ex standing in a Field talking on a Cell Phone to their main squeeze at home, or where ever, and not performing their duties.  There are some who spend their whole waking life with a phone soldered to their ear.  That is too extreme and should be stopped.  Calling home is a luxury, that a few (now a greater number) abuse, as they cut into the opportunities for others to call their loved ones.

Yes you can call home.  Don't abuse the right. 

 

[paracowboy]

Am I to understand that it is your position that if a recruit calls home, it somehow degrades his future combat performance? Are we talking about the same course... the BMQ at St. Jean...?

no. As I stated

Allowing too much free time for troops to make too frequent calls home deteriorates standards. Allowing recruits too much access to the outsid world with it's many distractions deteriorates standards.

(complete with typo)

The original question was whether the member would be able to call home?

and it was answered. And that's when I had another moment of exasperation with the steady erosion of standards.

I would humbly suggest that if you have a concern about a course you instructed, instead of posting negative statements publically, go through your chain of command and try and address them there.

I have, I did, I do.

As you know BMQ is a basic course for NCMs of all trades. It is an indoctrination course, not a battle school.

As an indoc, it is where soldiers first learn how to be soldiers. 

If you take exception to something I have said, feel free to PM me, and we can attempt to deal with it behind closed doors.

no. Nothing of any import.

And, because I've taken a breath: All my ranting has had no effect in person. It has had no effect when put into writing. It will have no effect here. The bottom line is numbers. Push 'em through, and combat effectiveness be damned. We are not an army geared for fighting, and it ain't gonna change any time soon. We are friendly and fuzzy, and the comfort of the troops takes precedence over their ability to fight. But, I ain't gonna shut up about it.

In short, you are able to call home.

nightly, it appears. I wouldn't tell her that. She will expect it, and the first time you are unable to, she'll freak out. Don't put her through that. She'll have enough on her plate worrying about you as it is.

You will be expected to continue to perform all your responsibilities to standard regardless of what is happening at home.

to a point. Emergencies are certainly understood and taken care of.

Just don't quit. You'll find many posts in this forum where I've given guidance to wannabe's. I also suggest you peek at my thread in the Training Forum for advice on PT, and Motivation.

 

[scottyeH?]

haha, I guess I'll make a good soldier...because I HATE talking on the phone, specially if its longer than 1minute.