Sigh...I'm giving up on this thread lol thanks for your removal of my mp points and your commentary everyone. Whenever I do makeit into the forces, iI'd like to meet you in person soyou can all tell me the same thing over and over again without considering my point. There's no minimization, deflection, or whatever you wish to call it in what I'm saying. What I did was wrong, no doubt about it, if you want to pretend to be saints that's all you. I know how I feel about what happened, I know I could've left a 3 year olds brain splattered across the pavement or had their mothers head smoking in my radiator. Me knowing that doesn't change that it was wrong, just like you thinking I'm minimizing doesn't change the fact I'm not. If anyone has any actual advice for me or can share an experience of theirs or a friends, I'd really appreciate it. Thanks gentlemen, and please, keep your judgements about me to yourself. Kudos to brihard and duncam for the only useful info in here, even though the former seems not to like me very much LOL