Common law not so supportive

[Pea]

who cares? It was answered a while back, it was answered many times in other threads, and this ain't "Dear Abby".

Well could it be "Dear Para"?  ;D

 

[NavComm]

:rofl: maybe we should ask Mr. Bobbitt to open a new section called Dear Para! All the somebody done somebody wrong threads could be moved over there.

It amazes me how many people go off to basic or other training and they don't have their home lives sorted out. They show up and the next thing you know they are VR'ing because the wife/husband can't cope for 3 months without them and so they spend days on the phone working it out and pissing off the rest of the platoon by not focussing on the training. What a waste of government (read: yours and mine) tax dollars.

As far as I'm concerned those individuals should have to pay back any money they received if the problem at home was pre-existing or a reasonable person would have seen it coming. I understand emergencies cannot be avoided but I've seen more than a few people on the phone crying their little eyes out because either they can't handle basic and want to go home or the spouse is all po'd that they left them alone to manage the homefront.

If your spouse does not support you going into the military then IMHO you have to deal with that. Either agree to disagree with the spouse, lose the spouse or stay home. If your friends don't like what you're doing then boo f*cking hoo. Suck it up. You'll make new friends and they will be better friends because they are going through what you are and they understand you. I don't like all the career choices my friends made but I don't shun them for it.

 

[TCBF]

"It amazes me how many people go off to basic or other training and they don't have their home lives sorted out.'

- This is the Planet Earth.  Nobody has their home lives sorted out.  Nobody.  My son's education has been in tatters for three years (and two school boards) because of personal issues that the teachers/aids/etc. cannot leave at home when they come to school.  Walking wounded. Trying to get an honest day's organized work out of that crew would require the non-standard use of cattle prods.

- Are most soldiers on stress leave are there because of operational incidents or personal life, or both?

- Life should not be the avoidance of stress, but the channeling of it.

 

[Jake]

I was just wondering how important support from your spouse is when you're in the military, and yes my question has been answered.

 

[NavComm]

"It amazes me how many people go off to basic or other training and they don't have their home lives sorted out.'

- This is the Planet Earth.  Nobody has their home lives sorted out.  Nobody.  My son's education has been in tatters for three years (and two school boards) because of personal issues that the teachers/aids/etc. cannot leave at home when they come to school.  Walking wounded. Trying to get an honest day's organized work out of that crew would require the non-standard use of cattle prods.

I didn't mean to say that people don't have problems or issues at home, of course we all do.

I was referring to those people who just signed up for training with some pretty serious issues at home  - a recruit that left a young teenager home alone because the recruit thought the military would fly them home on weekends during training; a recruit who's pregnant girlfriend (not his baby) dumps him..and so on.

To me those are predictable things that should have been dealt with before they got to basic training. Life is unpredictable enough, but some issues like childcare and crazy girlfriends can and should be addressed before you leave home. Maybe you have to make the decision that now is not the time to go to basic training.

This thread is about a common law spouse who doesn't support the guy's decision to join the military. There were people in that situation while I was at bmq and they had a very hard time focussing on the training because of the time they spent on the phone working on their relationship.

Jake want's to know how important support from the spouse is...well I guess that depends on the individual and whether or not the unsupportive spouse is going to create emotional problems for the person who is doing the basic training. Jake says his question has been answered. I am happy for him it has been. Unfortunately there seems to be quite a few people who go to bmq with these kinds of loose ends at home and end up not completing their training because they are pre-occupied with issues they could have reasonably foreseen and dealt with prior to leaving home.

Maybe I'm just a hard-a$$. I don't know. I guess I can look at it from the point of view that the people who do spend all that time on the phone and crying can bring the platoon closer because there will always be those people who lend an ear and a shoulder to cry on. On the other side of the coin, it can create resentment from the fellow recruits who feel they have to pick up the slack for buddy who is too busy fighting with the girlfriend and not pulling his weight.

Are most soldiers on stress leave are there because of operational incidents or personal life, or both?

I think soldiers who are on stress leave are a different issue altogether from the intention of this thread and I don't personally know any so I can only guess that it's probably a combination of both.

- Life should not be the avoidance of stress, but the channeling of it.

Very true!

 

[Jake]

I'll have everything straightened out long before I go, I'll make sure I have no distractions from my training. 

 

[NavComm]

I'll have everything straightened out long before I go, I'll make sure I have no distractions from my training. 

That's good to hear, believe me you will have enough to deal with at basic! Good luck in your training.

 

[Jake]

Thank you