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{shared with the usual caveats, etc. My apologies for not having a link though... 
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Canadian Armed Forces to be replaced by the A-Team
As part of budget cuts the entire Department of National Defence is to be dismantled and replaced by four soldiers of fortune sent to prison for a crime they didn’t commit.
‘We need a leaner, less centralised DND,’ said Minister of National Defence Peter Mackay, ‘and the A-Team are the perfect replacement. We were committed to spending billions on F-35’s but these guys have already managed to build us an independent air defence system using a broken lawnmower, two cans of WD40 and a thighmaster they found in my garage.’
Mr Mackay is understood to have got the idea after seeing an ad in the back of Guns & Ammo magazine: ‘If you have an unsustainable budget deficit, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire…The A-Team.’
‘We are delighted to be helping the Canadian government tackle their deficit,’ said the new head of the Canadian Armed forces Lieutenant Colonel John ‘Hannibal’ Smith, adding, ‘I love it when a strategic defence review comes together.’
Lieutenant Templeton ‘Faceman’ Peck will handle weapons procurement; the new head of the Air Command becomes Lieutenant General ‘Howling Mad’ Murdock; meanwhile B.A. Baracus will supply Canadian troops in Afghanistan with essential supplies of Tim Horton’s Double-Double’s and Snickers bars.
To save on costs, the DND offices in Ottawa will be sold off and replaced by a specially adapted GMC Vandura van with a built in missile launcher that can be sent to trouble spots around the world.
The A-Team have already pledged to resolve the situation in Afghanistan by driving round the country at tremendous speed and blowing everything up. However, unlike previous invasions, they have promised to get things sorted out in under an hour (with ad breaks) with miraculously no loss of life.
The team are expected to fly out to Kandahar next week, or just as soon as they manage to persuade B.A. Baracus who is currently refusing to budge saying only, ‘I ain’t getting on no underfunded neo-imperialist campaign, fool. Or West Jet.’
MP Dominic LeBlanc criticised the government. ‘These guys are a bunch of mercenary criminals and one of them is certified insane,’ he said, ‘and the A-Team isn’t much better.’
}Canadian Armed Forces to be replaced by the A-Team
As part of budget cuts the entire Department of National Defence is to be dismantled and replaced by four soldiers of fortune sent to prison for a crime they didn’t commit.
‘We need a leaner, less centralised DND,’ said Minister of National Defence Peter Mackay, ‘and the A-Team are the perfect replacement. We were committed to spending billions on F-35’s but these guys have already managed to build us an independent air defence system using a broken lawnmower, two cans of WD40 and a thighmaster they found in my garage.’
Mr Mackay is understood to have got the idea after seeing an ad in the back of Guns & Ammo magazine: ‘If you have an unsustainable budget deficit, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire…The A-Team.’
‘We are delighted to be helping the Canadian government tackle their deficit,’ said the new head of the Canadian Armed forces Lieutenant Colonel John ‘Hannibal’ Smith, adding, ‘I love it when a strategic defence review comes together.’
Lieutenant Templeton ‘Faceman’ Peck will handle weapons procurement; the new head of the Air Command becomes Lieutenant General ‘Howling Mad’ Murdock; meanwhile B.A. Baracus will supply Canadian troops in Afghanistan with essential supplies of Tim Horton’s Double-Double’s and Snickers bars.
To save on costs, the DND offices in Ottawa will be sold off and replaced by a specially adapted GMC Vandura van with a built in missile launcher that can be sent to trouble spots around the world.
The A-Team have already pledged to resolve the situation in Afghanistan by driving round the country at tremendous speed and blowing everything up. However, unlike previous invasions, they have promised to get things sorted out in under an hour (with ad breaks) with miraculously no loss of life.
The team are expected to fly out to Kandahar next week, or just as soon as they manage to persuade B.A. Baracus who is currently refusing to budge saying only, ‘I ain’t getting on no underfunded neo-imperialist campaign, fool. Or West Jet.’
MP Dominic LeBlanc criticised the government. ‘These guys are a bunch of mercenary criminals and one of them is certified insane,’ he said, ‘and the A-Team isn’t much better.’
