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How to get family on board

Angus6369 said:
But since my offer to head to basic my wife has changed her supportive attitude... Which really isn't fun.

Angus6369 said:
I love my wife, she wants to start trying for kids but with the perception she has of the military she is doubting that now.

Angus6369 said:
she is dead set that I should just stick with what I've been doing for the last 7 years.

Angus6369 said:
She is worried that the 700 every two weeks won't be enough to cover our bills at home.

This may help,

Recruiting website / info for families
"There are many different reasons why your loved one may want to join the Canadian Armed Forces."

and,

Military Family Resource Centres
https://www.familyforce.ca/sites/AllLocations/EN/Pages/default.aspx

Angus6369 said:
I was offered a job with an ambulance service and she is dead set that I should just stick with what I've been doing for the last 7 years.

Angus6369 said:
I have worked as a Primary Care Paramedic for 7 years

Angus6369 said:
Due to the layoffs from the north, I was able to draw EI and make almost 1000 every two weeks.

Not sure which province you work(ed) in.

But, I worked as a PCP at just the one department for my entire working life and had job security. In addition, the city paid a decent salary, benefits and pension. There was never a layoff, strike or lock-out.

Even if there had been a lay-off, ( the department was / is actually rapidly growing in numbers ) under the collective agreement, workers would have to be called back in order of seniority before hiring anyone from off the street. Rather than take the lay-off, you could also "bump" an employee with less seniority in another job classification, if you wished. Thankfully, it never came to that.

It sounds like you have 7 years seniority with your service? If it's a lay-off, I would think you would soon be called back to work.

In case you are looking for a job, as of yesterday, the city was hiring PCPs,
http://milnet.ca/forums/threads/121267/post-1409560.html#msg1409560
Reply #11

Good luck getting your wife on board with your CAF application.
 
Angus6369 said:
I'm not really sure what to do at this point. I know it's a hard post to answer, but anything would help. If for nothing else it's good to just write it all out!

http://www.forces.ca/en/page/forfamilies-151
 
Hi All,

I applied to the forces over 3 years ago (in fact I started the process 5 years ago but had to wait for citizenship). After several delays with my application, I was Merit Listed this week. Now it seems inevitable that an offer is coming, but I'm still patiently waiting for that call.

So here's my situation, I have a 4 year old son. His mother and I separated about 6 months go. The only hint of hesitation in my mind about joining up is the relationship with my son. His mother was planning on coming with me once I was stationed, but that obviously won't be happening anymore. They'll be staying in the Okanagan Valley and the closest Infantry base is in AB. So I suppose my question is to the moms and dads in forces. Whether you're still with your partners, divorced before or during your service... How do you cope with being away so much. I always new being away from family was a reality of the forces, but separating recently has really made me wonder. I know my relationship with my boy will be whatever it will be, and that the forces may not be a long term thing (although I'm pretty sure it will be). But the thought of missing so much of my son's life is really hard to think about.

All that being said, I can't help but remember when I separated, I was just as worried as I am now about loosing my son. Turned out, we have a much better relationship now then we ever did, even though I only see him 50% of the time.

Maybe I'm just whining a bit about the obvious. I know I need to make a choice. It's just been running through my mind the past 2 days and I think I just need to get it out with some people who've served and have kids. Or maybe there's a 20 year old kid out there who's dad served and was away all the time. Would love to hear from you too.

At any rate, there was selection for my trade on Monday. I'm expecting the call riiiiiiight now!..... riiiiiiiiiiight now!... darn it! lol.
 
Okanagan Guy said:
How do you cope with being away so much.

These are about coping with temporary separation from family. Whereas your separation sounds more permanent than temporary. At this stage of your application, it seems there is little hope of getting your son's mother on board.

Okanagan Guy said:
His mother was planning on coming with me once I was stationed, but that obviously won't be happening anymore.

But, they may help you and your son cope,

How do the families cope during a tour? Tips and pointers for first timers.
https://army.ca/forums/threads/33246.0

How do RESERVIST'S families cope during a tour?
http://army.ca/forums/threads/51349.0

Military - Family Life Balance 
guysletsdoit said:
How do the CF personnel, be it an officer or NCM, cope with the stress of being away from family?

Also how do the spouses, kids and family cope with their family member being away?

Okanagan Guy said:
the forces may not be a long term thing (although I'm pretty sure it will be).

Good luck whatever you decide.  :)



 
So I want to go to RMC after I graduate and would like to get some actual experience in the forces. My mother who always says try everything is vehemently opposing my decision is there a way that I can convince her to let me join the reserves




Thanks in advance
 
whinter said:
So I want to go to RMC after I graduate and would like to get some actual experience in the forces. My mother who always says try everything is vehemently opposing my decision is there a way that I can convince her to let me join the reserves




Thanks in advance

Hard to say without knowing your mother or why she is so opposed to it...
 
Welcome to Army.ca, whinter.

Read the thread with which I have merged this.

Most things have been discussed here before. Reading through older threads and using the Search Function will generally turn up answers to your questions, and sometimes even answers to questions that have not even occurred to you yet.
 
whinter said:
So I want to go to RMC after I graduate and would like to get some actual experience in the forces. My mother who always says try everything is vehemently opposing my decision is there a way that I can convince her to let me join the reserves

Thanks in advance

Show her this and she can read for herself ----->  http://www.forces.ca/en/page/forfamilies-151
 
whinter said:
So I want to go to RMC after I graduate and would like to get some actual experience in the forces. My mother who always says try everything is vehemently opposing my decision is there a way that I can convince her to let me join the reserves

Thanks in advance

She is likely worried about you getting hurt, killed or getting called up to go to Afghanistan or something along those lines, like all mothers should. Likewise she probably doesn't understand the reserves.

I don't know why anyone wouldn't join the reserves, if you don't get in to RMC you should be mostly trained by the time you get to university. You'll get $2k a year for school, it'll keep you in shape, you'll make friends, it pays well, you'll get to do some cool things/travelling if you are available and you will not find another job that is so flexible for students. Likewise I have gotten some transferable skills, leadership, attention to detail, trouble shooting and problem solving, time management and working in a team.

Ask her specifically why, and them come back or search back here.
 
runormal said:
She is likely worried about you getting hurt, killed or getting called up to go to Afghanistan or something along those lines, like all mothers should. Likewise she probably doesn't understand the reserves.

I don't know why anyone wouldn't join the reserves, if you don't get in to RMC you should be mostly trained by the time you get to university. You'll get $2k a year for school, it'll keep you in shape, you'll make friends, it pays well, you'll get to do some cool things/travelling if you are available and you will not find another job that is so flexible for students. Likewise I have gotten some transferable skills, leadership, attention to detail, trouble shooting and problem solving, time management and working in a team.

Ask her specifically why, and them come back or search back here.

It's also possible (likely?) that like most in the public, her only impression with the military is from movies/media.  If you're considering joining the Reserves, have her come with you to the unit on a parade night and talk to various people there about their experiences.
 
Dimsum said:
It's also possible (likely?) that like most in the public, her only impression with the military is from movies/media.  If you're considering joining the Reserves, have her come with you to the unit on a parade night and talk to various people there about their experiences.

You could also join the Naval Reserves. The pay is the same, but our uniforms are waaayyyyy nicer.
 
And there's w - a - y more rum, sodomy, and lash as well...
 
Loachman said:
And there's w - a - y more rum, sodomy, and lash as well...

Not so much rum anymore and the lash is definitely out.  As for what goes on between consenting adults...
 
My family is TOO on-board as far as I'm concerned. I'm a very private person and my mum is making all these social media posts about me being accepted. My eyes hurt from rolling so much.

I think she's just excited because the last family member we had in any sort of military was my great-great-uncle captaining the HMS Ajax...
 
big.guy.for.you said:
My family is TOO on-board as far as I'm concerned. I'm a very private person and my mum is making all these social media posts about me being accepted. My eyes hurt from rolling so much.

I think she's just excited because the last family member we had in any sort of military was my great-great-uncle captaining the HMS Ajax...

That's what "Moms" do.  She's merely showing her pride in raising such a fine young man who is daring enough to join the CF.    :)
 
DAA said:
That's what "Moms" do.  She's merely showing her pride in raising such a fine young man who is daring enough to join the CF.    :)

That or you were a REALLY troubled child and she is now happy that someone else might give you the little a** wooping that she never could do ( that was my situation hahaha)
 
Yeah she's just a really mom-y mom. I was pretty much doomed from the start. She has footage of me with my 1st cousin when we were 4 years old in South Africa. We're both playing with sticks; he's using his as a guitar, and I'm pretending to shoot mine like a gun. He joined a band.
 
I am currently 15 years old, and yes I know that may be a little young to start thinking if my future careers, but every since I can remember, I've always had a fascination with the army (especially the Infantry) and wanting to serve my country  :cdn: . My parents know of my great interest in the military, but that is all they see it as, not knowing that I have actually been dreaming of enlisting. They are both teachers and probably wish for me to peruse a job in law or the medical field, but I honestly know that those paths are not for me, and would probably make me feel miserable with my work. Can anyone tell me if they have been in this situation and how they got through it?
 
Welcome to Army.ca, MikeRizzi88

No, fifteen is not too young. Thinking of your future is to be commended. It took/takes many of us much longer than that to get to the same point.

There is much discussion about this here already, as you can see from the twenty pages of the thread with which I have merged your question. I hope that you can find your answers therein.

There is a wealth of information here about other topics as well. Please take the time to explore older threads on this Site and try the Search Function. This saves others' valuable time repeating earlier answers, saves DS the effort of merging threads of repetitive questions and answers, saves new people the effort of wading through them, and rewards you by providing answers to other questions before you even think of them. You have the luxury of time at this point, so you may as well take advantage of it.

Good luck with your parents, your application, your intended career, and your future in general.
 
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